Its been a while since i took time to chill and reflect about life. Am glad to have this opportunity to be here in Japan just chilling out and thinking about life.
As I travel the streets of Japan, I see a civic conscious society. I see perfection and passion in the things they do and the strive for greater heights.
I begin to wonder, am I striving for something greater? something better then what I am experiencing now. Or maybe everything seems cool to me. I like my status quo. No hurry to change. You know, just let things flow and when it happens. It happens. Carefree.
So yea, as i was by the water the other day, a voice in my mind sounded off:
"Wait, my child. Wait with an expectant heart."
Sounds like a watchnight service message title. haha. Pondering upon the line, 2 words shot out at me.
1. Wait
- to remain inactive or in a state of repose, as until something expected happens.
2. Expectant
- an act of anticipation.
Wait is passive. Expect is active. A war began to broke out in my mind.
What if i just want to wait? I'm tired of expecting things. Tired of disappointments and tears when things fail to happen. Tired of life. I just want to flow with life, let it take me as it goes...
Would I be a "bad christian?" Would I not be following what God has installed for me? I mean the essence of our faith is probably the anticipation of something better--a better tomorrow, a better future, the fulfillment of God's perfect will in each of our lives would have to been something better than what it is now. The promise of eternal life. The promise of love, hope peace and joy in our lives.
More than 6 months has past since my relationship with _ failed. For close to 3 years, i felt that my life was great, perfect, smooth. I had the girl of my dreams to share my life with, both of us actively and joyfully serving God in youth ministry, building up the worship team, survived Poly/JC and now doing very well in army. We had talks about getting married and kids and dogs and even a farm. We enjoyed each others company and families and boy was it great.
We complemented each other and man, it was a good 3 years despite some of the issues we had. It seemed to me that it was God's good and perfect plan. The way things are doing and progressing, my world was complete with _.
"It's a privilege to be loved and an honour to have the power to love."
Then things turned for the worst. I eased into the whole idea of a relationship too easily. I began taking for granted and neglecting things. By the time i realised my mistakes, neither of us were prepared for what happened. Damn, it was painful and bad.
If you ask me what is the one thing i regretted this year.
- My failed relationship with __.
If you ask me what is the one thing i am proud of this year.
- I survived :) haha.
As I travel the streets of Japan, I see a civic conscious society. I see perfection and passion in the things they do and the strive for greater heights.
I begin to wonder, am I striving for something greater? something better then what I am experiencing now. Or maybe everything seems cool to me. I like my status quo. No hurry to change. You know, just let things flow and when it happens. It happens. Carefree.
So yea, as i was by the water the other day, a voice in my mind sounded off:
"Wait, my child. Wait with an expectant heart."
Sounds like a watchnight service message title. haha. Pondering upon the line, 2 words shot out at me.
1. Wait
- to remain inactive or in a state of repose, as until something expected happens.
2. Expectant
- an act of anticipation.
Wait is passive. Expect is active. A war began to broke out in my mind.
What if i just want to wait? I'm tired of expecting things. Tired of disappointments and tears when things fail to happen. Tired of life. I just want to flow with life, let it take me as it goes...
Would I be a "bad christian?" Would I not be following what God has installed for me? I mean the essence of our faith is probably the anticipation of something better--a better tomorrow, a better future, the fulfillment of God's perfect will in each of our lives would have to been something better than what it is now. The promise of eternal life. The promise of love, hope peace and joy in our lives.
More than 6 months has past since my relationship with _ failed. For close to 3 years, i felt that my life was great, perfect, smooth. I had the girl of my dreams to share my life with, both of us actively and joyfully serving God in youth ministry, building up the worship team, survived Poly/JC and now doing very well in army. We had talks about getting married and kids and dogs and even a farm. We enjoyed each others company and families and boy was it great.
We complemented each other and man, it was a good 3 years despite some of the issues we had. It seemed to me that it was God's good and perfect plan. The way things are doing and progressing, my world was complete with _.
"It's a privilege to be loved and an honour to have the power to love."
Then things turned for the worst. I eased into the whole idea of a relationship too easily. I began taking for granted and neglecting things. By the time i realised my mistakes, neither of us were prepared for what happened. Damn, it was painful and bad.
If you ask me what is the one thing i regretted this year.
- My failed relationship with __.
If you ask me what is the one thing i am proud of this year.
- I survived :) haha.
But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. - Isaiah 40:31
Waiting and Expecting. Hmm..
It is at this point our hearts become desperate, our faith is proved, and our hope is purified.
I can remember experience after experience where I have cried out to God for help. When going through those times, I think that if I could just get out of this one pit all would be well.
However, not long after the Lord delivers me from one set of problems, I find myself in another whole set of problems. And again I am seeking His help with the same kind of desperate prayer. It began to dawn on me that God has carefully planned out these 'pauses' in life in order to renew, strengthen, humble and focus us on God.
Well, gonna carry on with my reflections and resolutions for the New Year, One thing i am sure of though. If given a chance to make right my broken relationship, i will do so. I believe my patience and sincerity will move her heart someday.
"In real love; you want the good for the person ..."
Waiting and Expecting. Hmm..
It is at this point our hearts become desperate, our faith is proved, and our hope is purified.
I can remember experience after experience where I have cried out to God for help. When going through those times, I think that if I could just get out of this one pit all would be well.
However, not long after the Lord delivers me from one set of problems, I find myself in another whole set of problems. And again I am seeking His help with the same kind of desperate prayer. It began to dawn on me that God has carefully planned out these 'pauses' in life in order to renew, strengthen, humble and focus us on God.
Well, gonna carry on with my reflections and resolutions for the New Year, One thing i am sure of though. If given a chance to make right my broken relationship, i will do so. I believe my patience and sincerity will move her heart someday.
"In real love; you want the good for the person ..."
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