Seeing you again.

We may not be as close as we were…but I still enjoy your company…I would cry if anything was to happen to you…we may not be together…fate has chosen or will choose our future…maybe were suited as friends instead of lovers…but what I do know for sure…that deep down I still have loads of love for you.

Sometimes I wish I… was a little kid again…skinned knee’s are easier to fix…than broken hearts

I feel used.

I'm Still Standing

Verse One:

You gave me courage to believe

that all your goodness I will see

and if it had not been for you standing on my side

where would I be

Chorus:

If not for your goodness

if not for your grace

I don't know where I would be today

if not for your kindness

I never could say I'm still standing

if not for your mercy

if not for your love

I most likely would have given up

if not for your favor I never could say

I'm still standing but by the grace of God

Verse Two:

To you I lift my offering

and set my heart on higher things

for if it had not been for you standing on my side

where would I be

I am jealous for ...

He is jealous for me
Love's like a hurricane,
I am a tree
Bending beneath the weight of
His wind and mercy
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great your affections are for me.

Oh, how He loves us so
Oh, how He loves us
How He loves us so.
(x2)

We are His portion and
He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption
by the grace in His eyes
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking
So heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss and my heart turns
violently inside of my chest
I don't have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way

- David Crowder Band

I've felt how it is like to be jealous for someone but never had I think about it the other way. The first 5 words of the song just broke me down... "He is jealous for me..." Enough said. there's nothing more .. just 5 words..

I love Jesus ...

“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option”

Prayer.

Let me ask you something.

If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience?

Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient?

If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous?

If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings?

Or does He give them opportunities to love each other?

Just so you know ...

I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what it is for me; love is knowing all about someone, and still wanting to be with them more than any other person, love is trusting them enough to tell them everything about yourself, including the things you might be ashamed of, love is feeling comfortable and safe with someone, but still getting weak knees when they walk into a room and smile at you.

There is one pain I often feel, which you will never know. It is caused by the absence of you.

Speak Clearly.

What is the quality of your intent?

Certain people have a way of saying things that shake us at the core. Even when the words do not seem harsh or offensive, the impact is shattering. What we could be experiencing is the intent behind the words. When we intend to do good, we do. When we intend to do harm, it happens. What each of us must come to realize is that our intent always comes through. We cannot sugarcoat the feelings in our heart of hearts. The emotion is the energy that motivates. We cannot ignore what we really want to create. We should be honest and do it the way we feel it. What we owe to ourselves and everyone around is to examine the reasons of our true intent.

My intent will be evident in the results.

Why won't you tell me you've got someone else?

“The truth is I can't be with you like this. I mean, I know I said that I could, but I can't. I just can't compromise myself like that. I mean I'm an emotional person. I feel things and I need to be able to get upset and talk about how I'm feeling. I mean that's just...that's who I am and I can't change it. I don't want to. And the thing is you know that, you knew it and you still pursued me because you want something with me, you just aren't strong enough to have it which...in a way makes you a coward. And the saddest part is that...one day you're gonna wake up and you're gonna realize what you missed and it's gonna be too late ...

I'm hurting real bad this time ...

Question

How can you simply be friends with someone when everytime you look at or talk to her all you can think about is how much more you really want and what could've been?

God, give me grace.

3 Passions

Three passions have governed my life: The longings for love, the search for knowledge, And unbearable pity for the suffering of [humankind]. Love brings ecstasy and relieves loneliness. In the union of love I have seen In a mystic miniature the prefiguring vision Of the heavens that saints and poets have imagined. With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of [people]. I have wished to know why the stars shine. Love and knowledge led upwards to the heavens, But always pity brought me back to earth; Cries of pain reverberated in my heart Of children in famine, of victims tortured And of old people left helpless. I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot, And I too suffer. This has been my life; I found it worth living. -adapted-

Moving On...

“You can shed tears that she is gone,

or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,

or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,

or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,

or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her only that she is gone,

or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind,

be empty and turn your back.

Or you can do what she'd want:

smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”

One day, I'll look back ....

This is for the broken hearted. I know how you feel. Empty, betrayed, and no happiness whatsoever. You don't want to laugh, because you know it's not going to help, but you don't want to cry, because it will just make you feel worse.

You feel like your heart is falling apart, but not only that, but you know soon your life is going to feel like it's falling apart too. You don't think it will ever end, and no matter what this person has done to you, it feels impossible to stop loving them. And everyone wonders why if they have hurt you so much, then why do you still love them. That's the confusing part, you don't know why, you just do, and the people who hurt you the most, and normally the ones you love the most. And then, after a few weeks, you finally feel a sense of relief, like you're getting happy again, but you know inside that you're just going into denial. And after a few more weeks, you're back to where you were an empty soul and teary eyes. You thought you got over them, but really, you just stopped showing it. And you can't help but to show it again. It leaves deep scars on your heart that are there forever. And no one understands how you feel, and how deep you are hurt, no matter who they are, because it hasn't happened to them

And even if it has, every broken heart is different. They don't know the true pain you feel and carry each and everyday now, so you learn that basically you are alone with all this. And the feeling starts to overwhelm you, and suddenly you just break down, right there, because you know you've had enough, the tears just instantly start flowing, and you're to the point where you don't care who see's.

Because you've spent so many nights lying awake in bed, and so many days being haunted by the scars and fear of rejection. And in the midst of all these tears, you know that its not helping any, and it's not going to bring them back, if you ever even had them in the first place.

After about a million tears have been cried, you finally pull yourself back together and keep going. Your throat starts to clench and your eyes burn with the tears you are trying to hold back. Everyone says, "It will be okay…” But you know it won't. And that’s the truth, it won’t. And you look back on all of the hurt you had from this, and you realize that people are horrible. You're still hurt, but you've learned to hide it so that everyone thinks you are okay.

So now every time you see this person, you know you still love them, and you feel a slight tingle in your heart yearning for them to love you, screaming out, but for some reason they don't hear it.

And then you sit back and wonder how one person could have caused all of this...

Putting Life into Perspective

If you wake up at a different time, in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?

Sometimes I really wonder, what would happen if:

I wasnt born in Singapore
I wasnt born into the family I'm in
I wasnt born a guy (haha!)
I wasnt born in the year i was born in
Or maybe if I wasnt born at all...

And I realize if that I one day would wake up to find myself in a different time, place, age etc, I totally would be a different person.

If I put my life into perspective each morning I wake up, I definitely lived my life a little differently.

Maybe I'll ask myself: What would Jesus do on a day like this... (a little miracles, probably tell a few stories, go fishing?, overturn some tables)